Sex is an integral part of many people’s relationships. But for some, a loss of libido is common after life-changing events, such as pregnancy and childbirth, according to the NHS.<\/p>\n
Reality TV star and fitness coach Holly Hagan-Blyth says this happened to her after having her son.<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0I could have said, ‘listen, if you don’t touch me ever again, I’m not even bothered’ because that’s just how I felt at the time,\u00a0\u00bb she said when co-hosting the CBeebies Parenting Helpline.<\/p>\n
Sex and relationship therapist Rachel Gold said mothers often expect to become intimate again after their six-week postnatal check.<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0I think that really fools people into believing that this must be the time to have sex again, but it isn’t true.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
Holly said her sex drive dipped after the arrival of her son Alpha-Jax in 2023 and she started to avoid any sort of intimacy.<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0Whenever I would give him [her husband Jacob] any type of affection, like a touch or a cuddle, I felt it was going to lead to the full thing, to sex, and I didn’t want that.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0I started having a negative connotation doing anything towards him.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
Being open with her husband helped, she says.<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0As soon as I said, this is how I’m feeling, ‘whenever I’m cuddling you and touching, can we just not make it lead to the next thing? Because it’s just making me not want to do that’, and all of a sudden everything was so much better because that pressure was taken off.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
Her husband Jacob was worried she no longer fancied him.<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0I was like, ‘you need to realise this has nothing to do with you. I am feeling this way at the moment, but I don’t think any differently of you.'\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0I don’t really feel like having sex right now, or even maybe in the next few months. This is my issue that I’m going through, and I just need to work through it.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
Holly hopes that couples experiencing the same issues can be more open.<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0People do say the relationship changes after having a child, but I don’t think that until you’re in it, you really, truly, realise how much it changes.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
Dr Jennifer Lincoln, a specialist in obstetrics and gynaecology, says there are many reasons why women may not want to have sex after giving birth.<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0There’s a lot of healing that happens. It takes about six weeks for the uterus to return to its pre-pregnancy size. Any tears in the vagina or perineum are also healing.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
There are also big hormonal changes for women which can impact their libido.<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0Levels of estrogen and progesterone drop drastically. The lower estrogen levels can lead to physical changes like vaginal dryness, which can make sex painful.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0People usually think menopause is the single most acute shift in hormone levels that a woman will ever experience, but actually the few days surrounding childbirth are.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
It’s not just an issue that affects mothers. CBeebies Parenting Helpline listener Frankie, who had her baby three months ago, said her male partner had gone off sex.<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0I hate my body at the moment, and all I want is a bit more attention from my partner, but he just doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore. I feel stuck.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
Rachel says that men sometimes struggle to be open about their feelings.<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0Stepping into fatherhood can bring up all sorts of things in a man… that could be a very big factor putting him off wanting to have sex.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
Fleur Parker, a practitioner from childbirth charity the NCT, says dealing with these emotions is often not seen as a priority for men.<\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0Talking honestly to your partner about how you’re feeling can really help; do not assume they know what’s happening or what you are thinking.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n
Advice provided by the NHS<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sex is an integral part of many people’s relationships. But for some, a loss of libido is common after life-changing events, such as pregnancy and childbirth, according to the NHS. Reality TV star and fitness coach Holly Hagan-Blyth says this happened to her after having her son. \u00ab\u00a0I could have said, ‘listen, if you don’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-9200","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/placedesnations.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9200","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/placedesnations.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/placedesnations.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/placedesnations.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9200"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/placedesnations.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9200\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/placedesnations.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9200"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/placedesnations.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9200"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/placedesnations.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9200"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}